Working With Borderline Personality Disorder

December 29th, Leave a comment Go to comments One of the classic behaviors of a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder is the vilification campaign. The target is the person against whom the perpetrator Borderline conducts the vilification. As with so many things involving Borderlines and their typical inability to understand or respect boundaries, there really are no limits. They will use basically any means available to them to cause damage to their target, including denigration, endless disparaging remarks, fabrication, false accusations, and even teaching others including their children! This choice of words emphasizes that the campaign employs lies, exaggerations, fictions, partial truths, and other reality distortion techiques. As it is unusual for a Borderline engaging in a vilification campaign to not use distortions, we shall refer to these as distortion campaigns just as the authors of Stop Walking on Eggshells have done. It can be very difficult to distinguish BPD from similar personality disorders, particular from NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder as both tend to involve a lot of emotional abuse.

Did Your Ex

Relationships per se are difficult. Two individuals come together — attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide — and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship. Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered. Notoriously famous personality disorders discussed in films, courts, and domestic disputes are all part of the dramatic-erratic cluster: The film Fatal Attraction quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.

What do all the films and print stories have in common?

Is she “crazymaking?” Do you feel like you need to walk on eggshells all the time? As the authors of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder point out, women (and men) with Borderline Personality Disorder are frequently abusive. You might want to think about whether this fits your relationship–and do something about it.

I used to say I would never be with or cope with a compulsive lair. I had a short interlude with a guy once who was a shocking pathological liar. It shook me up. It left me overly wary and cautious. I never knew men like him existed. Unbelievably a few years later I am in relationship with another habitual liar. This guy was more subtle and not as constant or nearly as dramatic with his lies.

I have stressed , been fuming mad and lost sleep over his lies. He has destroyed any chance of a happy loving relationship and yet would not be able to see why. He is very defensive , has ridiculous childish excuses for his lies.

THE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY CLIENT

I am sorry i came here looking for intelligent and educated information to help me deal with my troubled girlfriend, all I am reading here is elementary English, jaded female centric opinions, and a woman with obvious relationship issues polluting the knowledge base with her own mentally unstable agenda. To a narcissist, sex means both nothing and everything. December 29, at 6: Only when I strike a nerve does a troll strike.

The truth is that the behaviors of narcissistic abusers in relationships are NOT unique at all and this is why this website has nearly 6 million views. The fact that our relationships are all exactly the same is, indeed, what brings us together to support each other in recovery.

If you’ve heard of borderline personality disorder, it probably wasn’t in the real world, since we don’t make headlines (sociopaths are such spotlight hogs).

My schooling never touched on this pervasive disorder, yet my understanding of it cumulatively expanded through assisting clients who’d never been able to forge healthy, enduring attachments. Let me be very clear; I have not ‘treated’ Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderlines are not “bad people. In truth, when individuals are helped to resolve their self-worth issues, and connect with their emotions without compulsively analyzing or judging them, personality disorder features can be eliminated.

It’s not ‘rocket science,’ but it definitely requires an unconventional and unique type of assistance, that falls outside the realm of standard or traditional therapies. Resolving Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t a head issue, and there is nothing wrong with a Borderline’s mind. In my view, BPD is a heart issue, which seems to be why psychotherapeutic treatment has for many, remained a disappointing, unrewarding endeavor.

Borderline pathology is never caused by a genetic or biological abnormality, and it cannot be inherited. BPD is solely an environmentally induced ‘nurture’ issue, which is passed along through a diffuse, inadequate maternal connection from each generation to the next. In short, if we’ve never been able to receive nourishing love, warmth and affection within a stable, trusted bond, we are not equipped to love.

Examples of Personality Disorders With Distorted Thinking Patterns

I have approached this from a females perspective, as that is what I am and what I have been dealing with in my husband. Second, they are masters at appearing normal to the therapist. Often, if a couple is in therapy, the narcissist can put on such a great show that their partner ends up looking like they are the problem, and the therapist, if not knowledgeable about narcissism, will not see the real issue. Compounding the problem is the fact that the diagnostic definition of Narcissism is fairly subjective.

And for victims of a narcissist, who have been brainwashed into thinking their relationship is fine and THEY are the problem, they may not be able to see their partners behaviors clearly identified in the following definition. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance e.

NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder has 9 specified behavioral traits listed in the DSM-V manual of mental health professionals. That list is by no means an all-encompassing one. There has been much debate about how that list came to be and w.

This Blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Some posters are court ordered to have no contact of any kind with the person having a Restraining Order against them. Meaning no third party contact as well. Restraining Order Blog is not meant to harass, directly or indirectly contact, harm, intimidate, bring any emotional distress, stalk or cyberstalk, nor intentionally slander or damage any individual in any way.

Nor is it intended to initiate any third party contact on behalf of any poster or author, or violate a current restraining order in any way either. If you feel there is anything here that is slanderous, untrue, or illegal, please bring it to our attention. We will examine your request promptly, and any post you find offensive will be reviewed for removal in a timely manner. If you have a story to share, email me at ka7niq yahoo.

And many people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder are equally unaware they have it at all.

Advice

If you suspect that you have these traits, please leave this website and redirect your attention to alternative web content, which might feel more congruent with your personal views and needs. There are very few females who haven’t encountered a borderline disordered male at some point during their lifetime, whether he’s been a fellow employee, a boss, a neighbor, or somebody from an online dating site–where there’s an exceptionally high ratio of them.

Just wanna get laid?? Stay right where you are. Seeking a healthy partnership? Stop fishing in contaminated ponds, and commit to the hard inner work it takes to heal and grow, so you can finally accept the love you need.

If you date enough women, eventually you will encounter one with Borderline Personality Disorder. If autism is hyper-masculinization of the brain, it may help to think of BPD as characterizing hyper-feminization of the brain.

What is Compulsive Lying Disorder? People with the disorder are not able to control their lies and experience no guilt regardless of how the lies may affect themselves and others. The lack of guilt is frequently the result of the fact that the individual becomes so caught up in the lie that they are telling, they begin to believe it themselves. If confronted with a lie they have told in the past or one that they are presently telling, they will be insistent that they are speaking the truth.

Over time, the individual will become so adept at lying that it will be very difficult for others to determine if they are, in fact, telling the truth. There are no exact figures regarding the number of people that suffer from this disorder, but has been found to be equally common in men and women and usually becomes very apparent in the late teens. The defining characteristics of compulsive lying disorder are: The stories told are not entirely improbable and often have some element of truth.

They are not a manifestation of delusion or some broader type of psychosis: The fabricative tendency is long lasting; it is not provoked by the immediate situation or social pressure as much as it is an innate trait of the personality. A definitely internal, not an external, motive for the behavior can be discerned clinically:

THE MALE BORDERLINE

Posted by nightblinkers Wanted to let everyone know that I am over 4 months stable and still off of medications. There is success with this condition. I am truly thankful to God for this, because in all honesty, without the Lord, I couldn’t have made it through those difficult times, and having the courage to even try to stop meds after over 14 years of being medicated would have been too much for me to even consider.

I remember those times sitting in my room in the dark sad, angry and agitated and full of anxiety, just thinking how much easier it would be to just give up.

It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Their charm, talent, success, beauty, and charisma cast a spell, along with compliments, scintillating conversation, and apparent interest in you.

Frequently accompanied by depression , anxiety , anger , substance abuse , or rage The most distinguishing symptoms of BPD are marked sensitivity to rejection or criticism, and intense fear of possible abandonment. Fear of abandonment may lead to overlapping dating relationships as a new relationship is developed to protect against abandonment in the existing relationship.

Other symptoms may include feeling unsure of one’s personal identity , morals, and values; having paranoid thoughts when feeling stressed; depersonalization; and, in moderate to severe cases, stress-induced breaks with reality or psychotic episodes. Emotions[ edit ] People with BPD may feel emotions with greater ease, depth and for a longer time than others do. Although the term emotional lability suggests rapid changes between depression and elation, the mood swings in people with this condition actually fluctuate more frequently between anger and anxiety and between depression and anxiety.

The most frequent method of self-harm is cutting. This phenomenon, sometimes called splitting , includes a shift from idealizing others to devaluing them.

6 Signs of Narcissism You May Not Know About

Wednesday, February 25, Borderline personality disorder and sociopaths: This woman has a real sister with BPD and wrote a book based partially on her experiences. I say sister because unlike sociopaths, who are primarily male, BPDs are primarily female. But don’t underestimate her — she can be nefarious when she wants to be. The BPD is a lot of things, but most interesting to me is the skill with which she sheds one skin after another.

The recently published 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists precisely the same nine criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as did the.

But it’s not a perfect world, so you need some help. Professionals in certain fields, such as law enforcement, become trained in spotting liars, but the rest of us can still hone our detection sensors in everyday life. Whether it’s interviewing a potential hire at home or in the office or deciding to believe a sales pitch, we can all benefit from knowing the telltale signs of a fibber.

And in dating settings, needless to say, determining whether a potential partner is being honest or not is critical to deciding on where a relationship is headed. Psychology seems like it should be a good place to start trying to figure out how to sift the truth from the lies. If you don’t have access to a polygraph, there may be some behavioral clues that can tip you off.

Although the science isn’t completely there yet, a recently-published test seems to have potential. The liars and truth-tellers in the videos also were asked to describe the order of events in either a forward or backward chronology. The rationale for the backward-time condition was that this would create more “cognitive load” tax their mental resources because it’s harder to reconstruct events in reverse than forward order.

The condition of high cognitive load is comparable to what happens when you’re in a job interview or a police station, where there are high stakes attached to your telling the truth. Lying takes more cognitive effort than being honest in general, because you have to work harder to keep your facts straight. Once you start down the pathway of lying, you not only have to remember facts, but which facts you changed, and how.

Relationships and Divorces with Someone Who Suffers Borderline Personality Disorder

However, if you have any desire to move on after a breakup with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder BPD , you must go no contact. You must protect your own mental health. What is NC or No Contact? No contact means to cut all contact with a person, to remove every trace of them from your life via zero communication. It does sound harsh, and perhaps it is, but chances are this breakup and the relationship itself have left you a physical and emotional mess.

Why is no contact so necessary after a breakup with a bpd partner?

Distortion Campaigns Not Limited to BPD Victims. People without BPD may practice vilification campaigns, also, but they are often tied to BPD or similar personality disorders, especially Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

They often endanger the lives and well beings of the people who exhibit them. For instance, sexual acting out may consist of frequent, casual, unprotected sexual encounters with complete strangers, which can lead to STDs or unwanted pregnancies. Uncontrolled spending sprees can involve numerous, unnecessary purchases that max out credit cards and pile up debt. Shoplifting often involves stealing items strictly for excitement and can lead to jail time. Self-harm is a particularly common and conspicuous symptom in people with BPD.

People who exhibit this symptom may threaten or attempt suicide and do so often. Others may deliberately burn themselves with cigarettes, slice their arms with sharp blades, bang their heads, mutilate their skin, or even break bones in their hands or bodies. Although this symptom is separate from sensation seeking, it also involves a certain level of impulsivity.

People who exhibit this symptom have to be impulsive enough to try to kill themselves again and again. A common misperception is that suicidal threats rarely lead to real suicide attempts. People with BPD experience extreme emotional swings. They may feel on top of the world one moment and plunge into deep despair the next.

These mood swings are intense but usually transient, lasting only a few minutes or hours.

MenWeb Battered Men: Is She “Crazymaking” Borderline Personality Disorder and Domestic Violence

You feel like you are going crazy. They turn everything around. They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might become paranoid.

11 Signs It’s More Serious Than the Common Cold 2 11 Signs It’s More Serious Than the Common Cold Doctors explain how to tell if you have the common cold or something more.

It conjures images of Hannibal Lecter wearing a muzzle, and Lizzy Borden swinging an ax. But even more chilling? People are often surprised to learn that not all psychopaths are murderers. But they do destroy—lives and families. My Prince Charming was the most charming of them all. The good news is that there are red flags that can help you identify a psychopath early on in a relationship. Based on my experience, these are 10 signs your partner may not be who you think.

Does it feel like after years of living in black and white, you suddenly see the world in bursting color? But that stage doesn’t last: This feels amazing, so of course you want it to be normal. But it is not.

5 Common BPD Relationship Mistakes


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